Imagine my surprise when "Donald J Trump" flashed across my landline phone display while it rang. Of course I had some idea as to what would happen next so it was no surprise to hear a recorded message. Robo-Donald wanted me warn me that I wouldn’t be able to support him in the California primary. A web address was given to obtain instructions so that I might vote for the Donald. I know what the instructions will be because I make it my business to know such things and because my local registrar’s office has been sending cards and letters on the subject of Independents getting the most from California's contorted process since March. Sorry Robo-Donald but I belonged to a political party for thirty years before I outgrew them like I did plastic firearms and miniature trucks. I am not only an independent voter but I am proud to be one. I wear my No Party Preference status like a badge of common sense in a political world where inmates have been allowed to run the asylum for far too long. Even when I belonged to a party I was an independent voter that gave volunteer work and donations to campaigns for members of both the major parties. If I learned anything from the experience it is that too many Americans never grew out of high school and view election season like it was spirit week. I might have considered Robo-Donald’s request if election reform was a major plank in his campaign. It would be a sign of mature analytical thinking. Until I see that from a candidate I will continue on as an independent because to be anything else would make me more a part of the problem than the solution. This primary season California will get a taste of what battle ground states endure every election year. Unfortunately when the general election arrives we will return to our role as a true blue state to be ignored as anything but an ATM for two candidates that couldn’t care less about us. If we feel used when it is over it is because we have been but at least the Robo-calls and TV ads will end on June 7th.
Unfortunately Sundance the cat is no longer with us however he did work on his third and final April 1rst edition of The Weimarian before passing. Most of this information could not be verified for a multitude of reasons including but not limited to the language barrier between feline and human. His hard investigative work should however give a cat’s eye view on the 2016 political landscape. We cannot really consider this news but a feline reporter is still probably more accurate than most what your friends share on social media. Voters for Dignity is active once again. Government institutions were reported to have started issuing bottled water to all elected officials and their staff to avoid the truth dumps from last April brought on by a drug in the water supply so VD stepped up their efforts for political honesty. What had once been thought of as brain food for the tin foil hat crowd known as contrails turned out to be none other than VD operatives spraying and airborne version of their truth drug. An anonymous communique said that they planned to spread VD across the country. This has caused confusion with staffers that spent time outside making announcements that staffers stuck indoors must quickly disavow. Anonymous sources inside VD say that all social media sights have blocked their new app that eliminates any political share that proves to be inaccurate, bigoted or just plain foolish. It turns out that there were too many users that thought their social media feeds had quit working because of the lack on anything political on the system. When asked, progressive bloggers felt the software did not work correctly because for their audience one can insult Caucasians, Christians and males without it being considered bigotry. Conservative bloggers tended to respond in one syllable four letter words not used on The Weimarian. Several unnamed unverified staffers of the Bernie Sanders campaign now define anyone that uses the slogan "Feel the Bern" more than three times as a Bern Out. The new designation came after several fervent Sanders supporters spontaneously combusted while watching the candidate speak. Other Bern Outs actually tried to feel the Bern physically and could have been charged with elder abuse. The Senator was said not to have pressed charges but instead given them press passes and sent them to a Trump rally. When asked what she should be called when she won the presidency she replied "a simple Your Highness will do. First spouse Bill Clinton will be given an ambassadorship to Cuba because of its tightly controlled media and his affection for cigars. Donald Trump has announced that he will no longer give interviews to any news agency other than Kid News USA. He wants an audience that understands the concept of "he did it first" and those over nine just don't get it. Trump supporters have also been rumored to have been issued brown shirts. We can find no validity to the rumor that the next rally is to be called Trumps Night of the Long Knives. Ted Cruz has adopted a new slogan inspired by the endorsement of Lindsey Graham from now on the campaign slogan will be "Yes, my party has gone bat shit crazy". What the Kasich campaign is doing nobody seems to know but the words "tread water" come up often. Several experts in the field of politics have done a careful analysis of campaigns and came to the conclusion that the Sanders and Trump campaigns has surprisingly similar messages. In a nutshell they both say that everyone can have dessert for every meal without getting fat, no one has to eat their veggies and they will get someone else to pay for it. Stories left unfinished by our cat reporter planned to follow up on were internet chatter that CNN has change its name to the Clinton Nomination Network and the Democratic National Committee change their to Democrats Nominating Clinton. We thought about finishing this work but after watching election news coverage for the last few months felt there was no sense in following things that appear obvious. Once again if we have to say April Fool you just ain’t payin attention. Drink coffee, repeat then read again.
The Foothill Storytellers Guild is putting on a Winter Storytelling event. It is an all day event with many activities. Admission is free however donations would be greatly appreciated.
I have
decided not to renew the domain name that this blog has used for
years. I will keep the blog up by allowing it to revert back to: weimarian.blogspot.com for those interested in seeing anything new that might be posted.
Apologies for any inconvenience that this might cause.
Last week I noticed a pop culture event called Trump Your Cat. Pop culture is something that this country boy usually avoids but this sounded fun. As usual Sundance and I disagreed on the definition of fun. His defined as using my hand for a chew toy and my arm for a scratching post. I was however able to get a couple of pics before he ran over to a bag of cat treats demanding modeling fees.
It just wasn't enough. I was a blogger possessed. So I Trumped cat statues left over from the 60's
Then there was the hubbubabout John McCain's military service and with it came such clarity of thought that it might have been divine.
