Weimarian News for April 1rst 2015

Well Sundance the cat is at it again.  I told him that once was enough but something about a twenty pound cat with an attitude sitting on your chest at five in the morning convinced me to publish Sundance’s April 1rst news post again.  I am not sure where he gets his material since he cannot read or write but he has been hogging the remote watching cable news channels lately.   He also seems to be listening intently to my friends and neighbors telling me about what they have read on political blogs.  If those are his sources I would advise a bit of healthy skepticism. 


Federal:
 
Domestic terrorists slipped truth serum into the capital water supply.  A small riot developed on the House floor with all members trying to be the first in announcing that getting their party on top is more important that taking care of the country.  As speakers took the floor “We serve big donors and special interests, the middle class are just a tool to serve that purpose”  was frequently heard.  There were also many references to low voter turnout and apathy being validation to their true cause.  A communique by Voters for Dignity said “The joke is on them, truth is addictive and they may end up having to use it more often than they want to from now on.   VD plans on spreading throughout the entire US political system.”

The Red State Farm Caucus unanimously decided to switch from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party.  They all felt that saying they were for fiscal responsibility while supporting farm subsidies was hypocritical.  While one staffer sipped a Perrier he commented that “There seems to be something in the water around here. I have no idea what caused this but I am not looking forward to the 2016 campaign season.”  Their name will change to the Big Government Handout Caucus.

State:
 
California Jerry Brown was said to have privately admitted that most of what he takes credit for in his state’s turn around could have been accomplished years earlier were it not for an overly zealous group of Democratic partisans in the state legislature.  The gevernor was heard saying things like “They just didn’t like poor Arnie.” over and over. 

Civil Engineers were able to convince California’s Governor Jerry Brown that more carbon is created by cars moving east/ west in California than north/ south.  He has instructed the Brown Streak Rail Authority to build the feeders first because reducing carbon is more important that his ego’s need for a state with infrastructure project.
 
Former President Pro Tem of the California State Senate admitted that having ten percent of the California State Senate either under indictment or convicted of a felony in 2014 constituted a corrupt state government.  

Local:
 
Placer County wineries plan on approaching the Board of Supervisors requesting that wineries of five acres or more be allowed to build recreational facilities such as roller coasters, water slides, shooting ranges, auto racing and fireworks displays.  Sales of sound proof insulation, ear plugs and kitchen remodels soar while outdoor furniture and outdoor cooking equipment drop sharply.  One member was quoted as saying "We want our customers to have a pleasant rural experience.  If our neighbors want a pleasant rural experience we suggest that they become customers."

Local interest groups will combine their efforts to stop solar energy farms, wind farms, nearby shopping and hydro electric generation.  The new organization will be called Nimby’s Against Gobal warming or NAG for short.  Their first order of business will be lobby state government to apply carbon fees to everything including unemployment benefits.  Their spokesman Ludd Ite made the announcement while standing at a podium made in Indiana, using a mic made in China and later munched on refreshments that were all grown or prepared in Texas.  ”Director of Communications Nathan Nimby proclaimed We plan to shutdown any new clean power infrastructure while preaching the gospel of global climate change at the top of our lungs. “

The City of Auburn will consider litigation against Placer County once again.  This time they felt that the County violated CEQA regulations when the allowed the use of portable toilets at a weekend event in Tahoe City.  When asked why they were so concerned about something that happened so far away undisclosed members of the council said “what the heck, we just like sticking them for lawyers fees”. 

Well that is the news from Sundance the cat.  While I am not so sure about this as a tradition Sundance has already started working on his 2016 journalistic endeavor.  With all of the clowns that are thinking about entering the presidential race.  The 2016 spring primary season should be a circus worthy of his effort.